Look back at the past two years

王倩倩Annie

Colorful flags flying on both sides of the road, greeting slogans hanging around, trees and flowers thriving everywhere, all these are what the university first impressed on me-a free bird fromthe stressful high school and the cage of family. I, although a little disappointed at the shabby buildings, was excited by this whole new campus and deeply toughed by the hospitality of the students. I knew from heart that this was the place where I would study and grow in the four years to come. I need, at least, to learn to love it, although it had a difference from the ideal campus which I had been dreaming. Now, I think I have done it, because of these many happiness and sorrows I have experienced here during the past two years.

If someone asks me what touch me most in the past two years, I would answer you without hesitation: “it’s the military training.” Yes, that experience had taught me a lot, and I don’t and won’t forget it. I appreciate it very much, although it was a little bit hard to keep on, but finally I made it, and I think I did a good job. Now, whenever my thought slips into that period, I would recall the determination and perseverance I held during that three weeks. It was full of laugh and tear, happiness and sorrow. I believe I will benefit from it forever. Thanks to this cherish experience and memory, I grew up quickly. It will last and give me the strength to move forward.

My father always tells me that college is a place which opens a whole rang of things to me, be it academic or social. I know his feelings and expectations on me. And not being accepted as a member of the student union was the most disappointed thing, for both my father and me. To be honest, I know clearly that I’m an introvert when I was still a child, and was timid to speak to strangers. And I am still now, which can be seen from the fact that I seldom speak to others actively. That’s not that I don’t like and cherish the friendship between my friends and I, just because the born characteristics.

Time is flying, now I’m a senior. Having experienced those numerous hardness and successes, sorrows and happiness, tears and laugh, I find that I have grown up. I’m now a girl who knows that I should cherish my school time, seek various kinds of challenges, grasp them, and develop myself. The future is in my hand, and it depends on me how to achieve it.

[ 本帖最后由 Cinderella 于 2008-9-20 21:24 编辑 ]

苏洪钊

Colorful flags flying on both sides of the road, greeting slogans hanging around, trees and flowers thriving everywhere, all these are what the university first impressed on me, a free bird from high school and the cage of family.看起来有语法错误吧。

王倩倩Annie

hehe, sorry to embarrass you, and thank you for your advise.

Cinderella

1 the title: Looking Back at the Past Two Years

2 The languange is fluent and beautiful, yet what has get written is of little importance, I'm sorry to say so. The structure is not organized well. The thrid paragraph doesn't have a clear idea.

3 Do not shift the tenses now and then.

4 hardness and successes, sorrows and happiness_____these words appear several times in your 1st and last paragraph, yet you didn't give any instance of this kind to make your readers know something in you. You have no real intention to communicate with your readers.

In conclusion, though the language is fluent English, I don't think it a good piece of writing.

[ 本帖最后由 Cinderella 于 2008-9-21 12:12 编辑 ]