Life Is a Paradox

李欣蔚

        This afternoon, I sat on the law with a few pieces of paper, pondering on what I should choose to write in my composition of this week. Actually I had been obsessed by this question for several days. Still having no idea for the topic, I raised my eyes to the sky. Immediately, I was fascinated by the sun’s beautiful evening glow.
         With my eyes gazing at the setting sun, my thoughts flew back to a day two years ago. Three of my good friends and I –two boys and two girls– were taking a vacation in a mountain to relax ourselves after the College Entrance Examination. After dinner, we went out for a walk along the winding paths. Laughing and chatting, we immersed ourselves in the freshest air and the brightest green. We took photos by standing under lovely yellow sunflowers and on big grey stones. It was getting dark as we strolling on. Suddenly, through the swaying leaves of the trees, we saw the golden setting sun right on his way down to the mountains, peacefully, solemnly, and grandly.
         The sunset in that evening was the most beautiful one I had ever seen in my life. Every time I recalled that vacation, the scene of the sunset with everything around it appeared in front of my eyes like a valuable painting. However, like most old stories, happiness was followed by sadness. In the past two years, lots of things had changed. The relationship between one of those two boys and I ended in a dead silence after our touch of love. For a long time, I indulged myself in brooding on everything happened between us from the moment we met to the moment we hushed, and sorrowfully tried to find out the fatal cause of the whole deterioration. Unfortunately, I gave up with no answer.
         With a heavy heart caused by the painful reminiscence, I dragged me back into the reality. The sun had already disappeared in the distance. Suddenly, it dawned upon me that life is a paradox. It attracts us to cling to its many gifts but they are fated to be drawn back. Here then I understand the two truths of life that I have ever read in an essay.
         We ought to hold fast to life. Every beam of sunshine and every drop of water are life’s gifts to us. They are so precious that every minute of life should be valued. However, most of us recognize this truth only in the backward glances. We find that we are always too busy to appreciate the wonder and awe of life. We remember a beauty that have faded and a love that have withered with great pain because of our failure to see that beauty when it flowered and to respond with love when it was still tender. So in order to have no regrets, we should make some changes: to seize each golden minute.
         Yes, we should hold fast to life. However, we should not hold so fast that we cannot let it go. This is the second truth of life, opposite to the first one: we must accept our losses and learn how to give up. When we are young, with overwhelming ambition and energy, we think that we can achieve whatever we desire as long as we strive for it with firm hearts. But the life moves along to confront us with realities, and gradually we understand this truth. At every stage of life, we suffer from great losses in which we learn lessons and grow to be mature. We begin our independent life only when we lose others’ protections. We enter colleges, and then we leave our parents and childhood homes. We get married and have children, and then we have to let them go. We confront the deaths of our parents. We face the gradual waning of our strength and health. And ultimately, we must confront our own deaths, losing all that we have had and have dreamed.
         Just as the rabbis of the old had ever said, “A man comes to this world with his fist clenched, but when he dies, his hand is open.”

[ 本帖最后由 李欣蔚 于 2008-12-7 22:15 编辑 ]

Cinderella

这篇美妙的文字让我想起了我曾经读过的一段讲话，真的很像。贴出来和欣蔚、和大家一起分享。

    你没有贪婪你怎么会失败呢，因为你没有执著于获得的心呢！你拥有了之后，当这个东西自然地毁坏、自然地死亡，或者是被别人拿过去了，你都把这当作是一种自然的现象，就是来和去其实是自然界的一种规律。自然界不是稳定的，而是运动性的，这个规律就是运动。你看我们地球在运动，地球自己在自转着，自己转不就是一种运动吗？每转一圈就是一个轮回，而且还在围着太阳在轮回，在运转。这就揭示规律给我们：世界上没有绝对的永恒，这个世界是动的，是在运动着的，所以没有东西成为我们的永久的东西。我们的身体每天都在变化着，通过出汗、排泄，你看我们看到头发的生长——身体你是没有注意，实际上我们几乎每天都在有所谓类似一种脱皮的现象，这都是一种在更新着自己，如果你对一个事物死板地执著，而没有更新的话，那不就是一种错误？既然是错误你就会痛苦，而这实际上是你没有认清这个规律，所以你才痛苦，如果犯了这个痛苦，那就是一种错误。

    我举一个例子。好比说你在你家的院子里种了一颗瓜，你希望等看到它长大之后呢，它开花了，你总是希望这个花永远在这儿开放。当有一天这个花败落了，你的心也随之败落而死亡。我现在举这个例子，你听着是挺可笑：谁会这么傻呢？事实上我们很多人都是这么傻的。这只是对一个瓜你能理解，因为花败落了之后就代表着它会有果实产生，有了果实应该是一种丰收的喜悦呀！我们如果不懂这个道理，就会为花的败落而痛苦。等过些天瓜也熟了你就希望瓜永远挂在这个瓜秧上，但是如果你不快点把瓜摘下来，瓜就会腐烂，它又会败落。因为瓜的死亡和败落你也痛苦吗？那是你的错误。瓜熟蒂落，这一颗瓜可以产生百颗瓜呀。你是忘了它是一个更新、一种生长、一个生命力。所以当看透这一切之后，你就不会为这一次的失去而痛苦。就是我们对于很多我们自己已经拥有的和希望拥有的东西，总是企图把它搬到自己的家里，成为自己永远的拥有的东西，那是错误的——我们的生命都不能永远地存在于这里！在经典里说这是一种无常，什么叫无常？是一种无常状态，无常就是非永恒性的、非决定性的，那么无常就是决定性的一种定律。它是一种反复无常的状态，你看着这一会儿存在的，可能明天它就灭了。人都是这样，我们又何必对财、色、名、利这样死板呢？所以当我们把这个规律看透之后啊，我们对很多事物的看法和追求，那个心态重新调整一下之后，我们可能就不再那么痛苦，对很多事物不再是那么死板地执著，那我们的痛苦就真的少了。

    那么认识到这一步之后，我们又回到前面一开始所讲的，如果再能去多帮人、多奉献，想让自己快乐，就让别人快乐。让多人快乐之后，自己就会快乐。那你的人生活得应该是基本上在平静加快乐的状态里头。如果在平静加快乐加慈悲的状态下那就更好了。那么慈悲大爱之心，常常地、每天能够在自己的意识里存在着，而且在我们的行为上，再把这种慈悲表现出来，让更多的人看透这个道理的时候，那才是人生最高的幸福境界。

[ 本帖最后由 Cinderella 于 2008-12-18 11:35 编辑 ]