Human Rights

David

Today when I turn on the webpage of sina.com I see the vote of 10 of the most moved people in China in 2008. That makes me memorize that what happened in the earthquake of Wenchuan. Without doubt those people who sacrificed a lot in earthquake will be selected. I think it is because that our government and our country praise sacrifice most. Maybe that is one reason of America’s criticism about our country’s human rights.
Americans cannot understand our people’s feelings about sacrifice. In China many people are saved by others. Without this kind of spirit many people will lose their lives. When we see people who cannot swim fall into rivers most of us cannot help jumping into the river to save them. Although our people are becoming more and more selfish and indifferent those kinds of things happen in many places in our country. That has become a traditional virtue in China.
I appreciate them very much. They are so brave that they can save others regardless of everything. I memorize one thing that one policewoman remained in her position in the earthquake when she knew that she lost her child. I admire her so much that I can remember her after over half a year. But when I saw the CCTV let her tell her story in the television in several days after the earthquake happening, facing almost everyone of China, I was deeply shocked. How cruel they could be! When a mother faced the fact of the loss of her kid, how depressed she would be. But she remained in her position, standing the sadness of losing a kid, just because she could not give up her obligation. She is so great. But why could the TV station let a sad mother show her injury in her heart in public? They are so inhumane. At that time I realize the reason of America’s criticism.
I do not oppose that our government’s praise of sacrifice. Our society needs someone’s sacrifices because their sacrifices can make our world better. But I cannot agree to their behaviors. When we praise the sacrifices of others, we need to take their feelings into consideration. We need to praise them in a humane way.

admin

First, the title is too big for your content to cover.

Second, you fail to provide enough evidence to argue for your point of view, therefore your article is not convincing.

Third, make it clear what those pronouns denote. Too many pronouns, and too vague their meaning, I'm sorry to say so.