A Reflection on Such a Man

熹微

There is such a man---his figure is always fresh in my mind when I recall him.
   In my mind, sometimes he showed the humour of a rogue. He never remembered last night, and never planned for tonight. At first, I thought maybe, to him the life was but a dream, so he wanted to live in this dream as beautifully as he could.
   In my mind, he looked at everything with an unconcerned air, except his own benefits. He always put his own benefits above everything. However, at the same time, he didn’t long for getting nor was he sad in losing, with an attitude of expecting neither too much nor too little from life, as it were, nothing was of his business.
   Nevertheless, it is human to have thirst for water, to love a good dish, and to admire a beautiful woman. So I wonder what’s the cause of his attitude to life. Maybe he was an enfant terrible, experiencing too much and knowing the cruelty of life too much; so he made a rogue’s laughter to life’s cruelty to avoid reminding him of life’s cruelty.
   Maybe there was too much a burden upon his shoulder , and he was so responsible that he couldn’t bear remissing in it. So he needed a balance; then he chose the cynical form.
   He was not only a very uncommon one, but also the last one you could pin all your hopes on . However, such a man only can exist in films and stories.