Readingtext2

Azi

Reader: 英语2301石希羽
Reading Time: 2025.3.5
Reading Task: Twenty more examples about revision
The section discusses the importance of revising draft translations to eliminate unnecessary nouns and verbs, adhering to Professor Strunk's principle that a sentence should contain no unnecessary words. It provides a warning about the need to carefully assess whether these words are indeed unnecessary, as they sometimes convey essential meaning. The section then presents twenty examples of superfluous nouns and verbs in sentences, along with suggested revisions. Each example includes the original sentence (A-version) with unnecessary words underlined, a revised version (B-version) with changes italicized, and explanatory comments in brackets justifying the revisions.
        - Revision in Translation
        - Principle: No unnecessary words (Strunk)
        - Warning: Assess necessity of words
        - Examples of Revision
        1. When making revolution (past) -> When we were making revolution
        2. Inadequate efficiency in performance -> Inefficiency
        3. Nine years constitute a period -> In these nine years
        4. Put an end to the situation -> Stop accompanying
        5. The fact that -> (omitted)
        6. The business of -> (omitted)
        7. The objective of effectively strengthening -> Revitalize
        8. To carry out the task of fighting -> To fight
        9. Introducing the method of confiscation -> Confiscating
        10. Attach importance to promoting -> Promote
        11. The role of (retained for emphasis)
        12. Target of capturing -> Capture
        13. Achieve success in suppressing -> Suppress
        14. Adopt an approach of -> By a gradual transition
        15. Take steps to make a readjustment -> Readjust
        16. Experience the most rapid increase -> Grew most rapidly
        17. The work of clearly stipulating -> Clearly stipulate
        18. A good job must be done -> Good medical care must be provided
        19. Find solutions to -> Solve
        20. Make vigorous efforts to reform -> Reform; Establish the institution of regulating -> Regulate
Evaluation
Writing Style:
Clarity and Precision: The author effectively conveys the importance of revising translations to eliminate unnecessary words. The examples are clear, and the revisions are precisely explained.
Structure: The section is well-structured, starting with a general principle, followed by a warning, and then providing detailed examples with explanations.
Tone: The tone is instructional and authoritative, suitable for a text on translation and editing.
Theme:
The central theme is the importance of concise and precise language in translation, emphasizing the need to eliminate redundant words to improve clarity and readability.
Ideas:
Professor Strunk's Principle: The section highlights the significance of Strunk's principle, which is a fundamental guideline in writing and translation.
Assessment of Necessity: The author cautions against blindly eliminating words and emphasizes the need to assess their necessity in context.
Practical Examples: The provision of twenty examples with detailed revisions and explanations makes the section highly practical and useful for translators.
Overall Evaluation:
The section is well-written, clear, and informative. It effectively communicates the importance of revising translations to eliminate unnecessary words and provides practical examples to illustrate this point. The author's adherence to Strunk's principle and the cautionary note about assessing the necessity of words demonstrate a thorough understanding of the topic. The section is a valuable resource for translators looking to improve the clarity and precision of their work.